Fashionably Dead….Please kill me

Today I would like to review probably the worst book I have ever had the displeasure to listen to.  Yes, I said listen to.  Because of work, the twins and family obligations I generally do not have the time to sit and read.  So I listen to audio books while I shower, drive, bathe the twins or do house work.  I use Audible and I will definitely write so more on the subject later but for now lets get to the subject of the post.

Fashionably Dead is plainly horrible.  In an earlier post I extolled my love of bad B movies, but that does not go for bad books generally.  I can appreciate some bad books or cliche books like any thing by Mark Tufo.  Though the writing in his books can be off his story lines are fun and the characters are generally well thought out.  Fashionably Dead on the other hand is not one of these books.  Robyn Peterman‘s book is best suited to those looking for paranormal light erotica not the normal contemporary paranormal reader.  When compared to Kelly Armstrong and others like her Robyn Peterman’s writing comes off as one dimensional and superficial.  None of the characters have the feel of being well rounded.  The main character is a girl, I refuse to use the term woman, that is turned into a Vampire while trying to quit smoking at a hypnotist.  She is a self proclaimed “Prada Whore” and is incapable of managing her life even after being turned.  Her best friend is just as one dimensional and an enabler for her vices.  After being turned she gets a foul mouthed guardian angel that takes the form of Oprah and combat trainer faerie in the form of Arnold Schwarzenegger.  Oh yeah her Best friend also has the ability to make her blood taste like what ever she has just eaten / is eating.

As the story progresses the heroine not only finds a whole clan of Prada whore vampires and then falls in lust, the book says love but all I see is lust, with a mysterious dangerous vampire.  Unsurprisingly we discover that she is the chosen one that is foretold in prophesy, her dad is a daemon, the guy she lusts after is the son of the vampire king and her spiritual brother, though that doesn’t stop a lot of sex.  Her best friend is the Faerie queen.  And the Kings long lost ex-wife is trying to kill him.

Basically, the story takes all the crazy elements of the paranormal fantasy genre and throws them at you.  I could go on but I think I have made my point.  Luckily, I got the book as part of a two for one sale.


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